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  • Brad Eck

Passivity

To those who are trying to understand autism, this message isn't for you. Thank you for jumping in - keep learning. There's so much and your search can only help. Stay humble and seek to understand.


However, this message is for the autism community and directed to those whose intentions might very well be honorable, but nevertheless are dangerous.


I am seeing more and more of a passivity type of behavior online when people are responding to autistics seeking help.


So called therapists, professionals, or even those who just want to help, who believe it's better to be nice and safe than to be cordial and honest. Or worse, push an agenda.

Nice doesn't solve issues.

People need help, and this type of help doesn't help them. Focus on *their* need, not your message. If people are asking for help, give them your perspective and do it honestly. Be open about the consequences of their behavior. Treat them respectfully, but don't sugar coat. It does them no good.


Perspective. I use that very specifically here.


You.Dont.Know.


You don't know them. You don't know their struggles. And you for sure don't know everything about autism - because even the scientists can't get that one right. So stay humble. Offer your view (based on experience and study, not opinion). And then provide direct and honest feedback about the risks.


Parenting a special needs child is tough. But being a friend to your child is counter to being a parent - you can't be both.

Tough love can be, well, tough. But doing right is, well, always the right thing to do.